really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
