THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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