Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
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