You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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