are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
