omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
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Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize