I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
