Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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