His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
