I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
where am i from again
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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