Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
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