But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
