I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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