My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
