Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
