I will die if light touches me.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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