I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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