.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I wish you could order shots online.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
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Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
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