Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
