Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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