i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
