In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
