You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
he was CRYING into my vagina
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize