it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
What drink are we having for lunch?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
