im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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