I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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