Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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