that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
