This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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