i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
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If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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