it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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