Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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