I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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