i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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