Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
