I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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