Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I have post one night stand depression
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