It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
