Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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