Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
My balls are so social today.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize