let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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