Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
