smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
