Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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