Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize