Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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