At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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