don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
