Having a random hookup so left but love u
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
