the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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