I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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