Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
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She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
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I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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