I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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