I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Just pee around me
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
