Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
