i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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