i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
