butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
