Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
