I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
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