I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
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I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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