Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
