so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
