Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
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We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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