What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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